


Shadows of the Heart

by HauntRavensong



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean notices, F/M, Gen, Learning Disabilities, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Reader Has a Crush on Sam Winchester, Winged Male Reader, and he is blind to it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-14 06:37:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21011387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HauntRavensong/pseuds/HauntRavensong
Summary: M/n had been hunting with the brothers Winchester for a couple of years, and things were good. Even if he always gives Sam lovey dovey eyes that go unnoticed, he's okay, but he does want to tell them about the wings he had been born with.When Eileen Leahy comes to the bunker, however, it's like he doesn't exist anymore. After a few weeks of this he gets aggravated, but when they forget something important, he decides that that is the final straw.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by Shadows of the Night by Pat Benatar, as you can see in the title. I think I'm back from my break, but a cold is kicking my ass for now -.- 
> 
> I just wanted to get this out since I thought it was a good starter for Winged Male Reader and Sam. Will be adding chapters to Cass' and my G/T story soon. Some things will be ooc and just off since I haven't watched most of the seasons of Supernatural so plez forgive any mistakes.
> 
> Quick side note, I lost another bet and have to write another story with an OC so I will be making a series out of the plots of when I lose -.- If anyone wants chapters added to those, just let me know and I'll see what I can do.

It was a warm night, but after what happened at the bunker M/n couldn't really feel it. He just felt hurt and pain twisting like a cruel knife in his chest the further away he drove from the place. 

M/n had been hunting with the Winchesters off and on for a couple of years, and crushing on Sam like a nervous schoolgirl, until he was invited to stay in their bunker. A real Men of Letters bunker! Despite his own secret he had kept from them, his giant feathered wings, he accepted it.

He thought things were good. He managed to keep his wings hidden, continued to hunt with them, and even got to know them and Castiel better. Although, he still stayed wary around the angel.

It wasn't until they worked with another hunter named Eileen that things became complicated.

M/n may be a hunter, but he also has mental challenges. His brain couldn't process complicated instructions or too many at once, and he was somewhat more childish than his actual age due to it.

When he began to learn sign language so it would be easier for Eileen, it didn't go well. He always messed up, but it wasn't Eileen that made a big deal of it, it was the brothers. They began to berate him like a child messing up on a spelling bee when he made a phrase that didn't make sense, or missed a critical letter in a word. It became very embarrassing so M/n gave up and just wrote to her.

During this, the brothers took him on hunts less and less instead taking the woman with them. At first he didn't mind but...after a few more weeks of them forgetting him, he became hurt and frustrated.

He still didn't say anything about how he felt about it all. And he didn't blame Eileen at all, she's a very nice woman who knows her stuff. This is their fault.

All of that didn't prepare him for the hurt he would feel when he paid attention to Sam while she was in the room. At first M/n didn't notice it, but when Sam forgot that he was supposed to take M/n to spar, he found the younger Winchester in the library with Eileen. Hearts were practically in his eyes as he went over notes with her.

He was hurt and heartbroken, but being the hunter he is, he shoved those feelings down and went on his own cases.

Then there was a time that he wanted to reveal his wings to Sam and Dean. They're the best friends that he had ever had so he hoped that they'd accept him. He told them that there was something very important he wanted to tell them and they agreed on the date set. 

M/n spent the few days encouraging himself to show them, but the longer he waited for them to show up at the diner the more worried he became. They'd never been late when he wanted to talk to them but here it is, two hours past the set time now.

Thinking something bad had happened, he sped back to the bunker like hellhounds were on his heels. Once inside, he almost called out for their names but stopped short when he spotted them in the library.

Dean had looked up at him with an incredulous expression on his face and his tone was sharp. "Where the hell were you? We've got a case to research for."

Now M/n's own bitch face showed. "I was at the diner waiting for you two. Did -"

"Grab a book, Ketch and Eileen have a lead on something but we need to confirm." Sam interrupted him before he finished without looking up, which made M/n only much more aggravated. Even his feathers ruffled in anger so he had adjust his coat.

He crossed his arms and asked them. "Guys, you said that you'd meet me at the diner so we could talk tonight, remember?"

What Dean said next cut him so deep that he thought that Lucifer used a blade on him. "We've got more important things to do than make this into a chick flick with feelings. Get a book."

That. Is. It.

"You two had a good handle on it while I was gone." His voice was cold but again, they didn't notice. "Keep it up by yourself."

They looked up but M/n was already on his way to his room to pack everything. If this is how it's going to be now then he never wants to be a part of the Winchesters ever again.

There really wasn't much to pack so it didn't take long. By the time he came out and went through the library, the brothers did look up at him. With widened eyes filled with shock, they got up to try and talk to him.

"Look," Dean began to talk. "If meetin' at the diner was so important then we can talk here."

"Oh, now that you see me about to leave you decide that now is a good time to make my "chick flick feelings" more important than research." He scoffed angrily at them while gathering his thoughts.

"I fucking told you guys when we were setting a date how important it was to me, but me leaving isn't because of that alone. For months now you assholes ignored everything I was saying or doing, forgetting to bring me on hunts, and don't bother hanging out with me. You two shoved me out and I'm tired of being left out like a fucking plague!"

They just stood there, shifting their weight onto the other foot and looked very uncertain. At their silence M/n continued his rant with tears threatening to flow. "You two said that I'm family, but that's only until women come around and you two can't keep away from them, right? I like Eileen, I really do, but you guys are un-fucking-believable with how you treated me around her. I'm done being your once in a while friend."

Dean made the mistake of getting closer to him and spoke again. "So this isn't all about your crush on Sammy?"

While Sam's eyes widened comically, M/n's face became red from both embarrassment and anger.

"I just fucking told you!" He was shouting now. "This is exactly what I was talking about. Y'know what, don't ever call me ever again or even try to find me."

When he began to ascend the stairs, Dean moved closer to stop him only to be punched in the jaw when he was too close. M/n is left handed so it's rather unexpected to block quickly.

Dean staggered back allowing M/n to make it up the stairs. He didn't bother to look and see their expressions, but it's not like what he is doing matters to them anyways. Even with Dean calling out his crush, it didn't matter because Sam loves Eileen.

M/n believes that the brothers deserve what happiness they can get, but he isn't going to allow them to hurt him. Not anymore. 

He just wishes that it didn't hurt as much as it did to leave knowing he'll likely never see Sam again. Just as his car made it to a motel many miles away from Kansas, he cried for maybe the millionth time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is Male Reader centric, but I hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> I'm trying to make this around season 12, while Eileen is still alive, but I'm also having it that she and Sam have a relationship until her death, so it will be a lot of avoiding for now for both Sam and you.
> 
> I always imagine the underside of the wings having a butterfly pattern since many of those bugs are so beautiful. Birds have awesome patterns too, but they aren't my particular favorites. (Birds are also fucking evil)

> _**A year later....**_

"Okay... Let's try this again, motherfucker." M/n mumbled he got up after being tossed by a particularly angry yet delighted ghost.

Of all ghosts to have woken up in this town, he found a serial killer that had a thing for single parents. It seemed to like watching the kids wallow in despair seeing their only support be torn from them, and that is something M/n can't let stand.

He found the unmarked grave of the killer and dug it out, but the shambled man began making this difficult. Thankfully his wings are safely tucked and cushioned in his coat from the throw. If he has to go through with a broken wing again....

The ghost cackled maniacally as he disappeared. M/n's heart was going a million times over than usual, but he kept his cool and quickly poured salt and gasoline in it before the ghost reappeared behind him. The man grabbed the back of his coat and tore it off instead of it throwing the hunter. Somehow the necklace M/n used to hide his wings came off, revealing them to any eyes watching.

M/n rolled to the side and tossed a grenade he had made, landing right under the ghost. He didn't notice that his necklace was off until he saw the ghost's expression right before the grenade exploded with a blast of salt and fine sanded iron, making it dissipate with a shout.

He looked and saw his wings before shrugging. Then he walked to the grave and set the fire. Out of habit he stretched his wings to full length, the tips seeming to glow in the moonlight with their bright color.

"Nothing like a good stretch, I better find my necklace though..." He said to himself as he turned to get his coat.

It's hunts like this that make him miss being with Sam, Dean, and Cass, but...it was good he left, he thinks. This way he could actually sharpen his skills, but given how socially awkward he is, he doesn't bother with the FBI part. He knows enough to get a general idea of where most creatures tend to make their nests. 

Ghosts are a little more tricky though. M/n really doesn't mind research, but it's...hard knowing what to look for. That was what is good about more than one hunter, however, after that fight so long ago, M/n really doesn't believe he could bear to go through that again.

So he hunts alone.

"Here it is!" The necklace was right under his coat so he put it in his pants pocket while leaving his coat off. There shouldn't be anyone in the graveyard so might as well not put it on yet and let them catch the warmth of the fire. It will be soon he has to fill the hole when the fire's done doing it's thing.

A while later his phone rings, breaking the solem silence just as the fire was dying. He recognized the number and answered with a smile. "Hey, Jody. Somethin' up?"

_"No, I just wanted to check on you."_ The sheriff had a relieved tone to her voice._ "I saw Sam and Dean recently, but you weren't with them so I was worried. Are you okay?"_

He sighed and angrily shook his head. "I'm surprised they didn't tell you anything. I haven't seen them for over a year now, Jody, so you won't be seeing me with them."

There was major shock in her voice._ "What? Why? What happened? Did Sam say something mean when you confessed your crush to him? I'll set his ass -"_

"Easy there, Towanda the Amazon." M/n teased, but his voice then became confused. "How did you know I had a crush on him?"

_"Sweetie, it's as obvious as Batman being in a room full of ballerinas."_

...and he thought that it was kept under wraps.

"It's....complicated, Jody, but things just weren't working out. I'm fine though, just handled a salt 'n burn by myself so all's good."

_"Okay."_ Then she remembered the main reason she had called. _"Also, I wanted to warn you, there are some hunters hangin' around Sam and Dean that are part of the British Men of Letters. There's been a lot of mysterious deaths around them so be careful, okay?"_

His eyes widened at that. M/n had read a lot about the Men of Letters, and heard that the British branch has a much more brutal code of conduct. But...it was also kind of cool in a way. Although the deaths Jody is talking about is more than enough reason for him to be on guard.

"Got ya, Jody. I'll be careful. Um...how was Sam last you saw him?"

Again, he hoped he was over the red wood tree of a man. Nope.

_"He was happy, but their mother was resurrected so that might be it."_ She tried to be reassuring knowing how M/n felt about Sam, but neither of the brothers seemed tore up about him being gone.

But it did break her heart. Seeing M/n and the Winchesters together was sometimes like seeing small boys playing together, and not seeing him with them after the werewolf fiasco with Claire was just...wrong somehow. Then again, she became much more protective of him since he had some issues, but he can hold his own.

"Okay, as long as he's happy." His wings lowered out of his sadness, but had an idea to distract himself. "I'll be careful on hunts, but I was thinking about taking a break after tonight anyways. Is it okay if I come to your place?"

She smiled._ "I don't see why not. I haven't seen ya in a while, and I'm sure the girls would like a different visitor that isn't the Winchesters that are solving a doom case."_

They said their goodbyes and M/n then began to fill the grave back up after putting his necklace back on, rendering his wings invisible to all eyes. A vacation might be exactly what he needs right now to forget the brothers for a little while. 

When he put his coat back on, a loose flight feather fell through the coat next to the grave of a few children as he walked away. Their spirits rose out of the ground and they sat around the feather in awe before sending it up into the sky to be carried by the slight breeze as they also played in the wind.

The children watched as the feather went farther than they could go and they hoped that it would find its way to the person that the hunter is in love with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ending might be a little sappy, but rewatching ol' Casper the Friendly Ghost will do that to ya.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, this is going to be wrong out of the whazoo with how this episode went. All I can do is watch clips on YouTube, but even that is limited due to some rather important parts apparently not posted. And not enough phone data.
> 
> Like Mary vs. Jody at all -.-
> 
> So this makes me put up an important question. Should I try to rewrite episodes themselves with my cringey writing, or should I write moments similar to aftermath? Please let me know.

The feather floated on the wind, dancing to and fro in the playful currents until it settled down in a park amongst the blooming flowers.

Many people walked by not noticing the giant, colorful feather until a man dressed in all white took an interest. He appraised the feather with awe in his eyes. Soon the awe was taken over by a twisted and evil smirk.

"Now what kind of creature are you from, hmm?"

* * *

"I can't believe Dean said that to you." Jody told M/n in a saddened tone. Her and M/n were in the kitchen sharing a little booze. "Both of them actually, and it makes me mad that none of you told me about this fight."

All he did was shrug while taking a sip of the whiskey. The taste is usually horrible, but it's a special occasion. Plus he's more than old enough to have a drink now! He arrived at the sheriff's house just a few hours ago and the entire time was filled with stories of what had been going on with the British Men of Letters, Lucifer getting a woman pregnant, and about the brothers mother, Mary.

To think that so much had happened in a year and he was just killing bad monsters.

"It was a long time coming, really. And stupid on my end." M/n replied. "The moment I opened my heart, I was doomed. I didn't listen to what my mom or my dad said and now being heartbroken is my punishment for it. But things like this is what helps us learn what and what not to do. Life itself is the most merciless teacher."

Jody just listened and could feel the pure sadness in his voice. No matter how hard he tries to bury it, he's still hurt over what happened and now blames himself. She's seen him do this before and the depression with it isn't pretty.

"Spoken like a true hunter, M/n. You came a long way from the overeager teen to where you are now. But there is something you should know about Sam-"

He listened to her until a noise got his attention and stopped her short. Instantly his guard was up and narrowly dodged something swung by his head. Jody turned and was shocked to see the attacker, but she didn't wait to block an attack on her. 

The attacker is blonde and is obviously well versed in combat. The woman is able to dodge M/n's own attacks, but after a while, Alex came back to Jody's just in time for him to be stabbed in the back of his right shoulder. He let out a pained shout and the other two used this as a distraction to pin the attacker down.

They tied her to a chair, and while Jody went to call someone, Alex rushed to M/n's side. "Here, we have to -"

"I'm fine!" He gritted out. This was bad. Not only is he bleeding pretty badly, it actually wasn't his shoulder the woman stabbed. It was his wing. "I don't....I have to...."

The girl dragged him toward a different room when Jody came back and nodded to the door. When she tried to sit him down on a chair, he quickly moved. Looking at him, she could see pure panic in his face and became confused of why he would refuse help, but she held her hands up as if talking to a panicked puppy.

"You're badly hurt and need help, M/n. I promise it won't hurt."

Her voice was gentle, however, it still did nothing to calm him. By now his chest was heaving, and the blood could be seen dripping onto the floor. It made her very worried and what he said next made the girl confused still.

"Alex...promise me you won't tell anyone, I mean anyone including Jody, about what I'm gonna show you."

"I...I promise. C'mon and sit, you're bleeding badly."

With a shaky nod, he complied and took off his coat and shirt to reveal the wound. He could hear Alex gasp behind him. The flowing blood on his wing actually outlined his feathers.

Now she understood why the older hunter suddenly became a little panicked. She could see that his shoulder wasn't touched at all so it was this wing that took the damage. There was no experience on how to bandage a wing, so she was just at a loss.

"Get me some bandages and gauze, I'll need your help wrapping it up, Alex."

She did as told and followed his instructions. With his years of hunting, he knew how to deal with his wing but it isn't going to be easy to hide it where it was stabbed. He'll have to leave his coat off and put the ointment for his wings on the bandages as well.

Alex left the room to keep Jody distracted while he cleaned his feathers, and to give him a little privacy.

"Hey." She came back in looking like she saw something she shouldn't have. At least CIA kind of something. "I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault." He took on the most reassuring tone he could. "I'm a little too obsessed with keeping them a secret, and yes, I'm actually human despite them."

The girl was sheepish sitting across from him. "Have you had them all of your life?"

"Yeah, but they came out of my back when I was six. Painful as fuck, lemme tell ya. Any idea who that woman is that attacked us?"

"Sam and Dean's mom."

His eyes narrowed a tad as he mumbled. "Fuck me, she called them didn't she?"

He cursed even more when Alex nodded. She and Claire both also knew of his crush on Sam and even made them into a ship name until it became known that the Winchester was dating a woman. But... maybe there's a chance for them.

* * *

It took a few days, but the Winchesters made it to Jody's along with their prisoner, Toni Bevell. When they were told that their mother just tried to kill her and Alex, they knew something was up.

"What a shabby place." Bevell quipped as Dean got her out of the car and lead her inside.

Sam noticed something out of the corner of his eye. An all too familiar older model blue Honda motorcycle. He knew that it was M/n's and his eyes widened. Why was he here?

He followed his brother inside and saw their mother restrained in a chair all with Jody watching her, but no sign of Alex or M/n. In a sense, he was glad for it because it would just be awkward, and he isn't ready for a conversation with the other man.

Not after what happened to Eileen.

After a while of talking to Jody and Bevell, Sam decided that he needed to go to the restroom. It isn't totally a lie, but he was curious of where M/n might be in the house. Once he finished his business, he got his answer.

Voices were coming from another room so he kept quiet and carefully listened. Very not creepy in any way at all. It wasn't long until he heard Alex ask someone. "What were your parents like? You don't really talk about your family at all."

Then he heard M/n's voice. "Well...I guess it really depends on who you call family, really. My biological mother abandoned me when I turned six, and I have never met my biological father since mother is a female Dean."

Alex chuckled at that and Sam had to hold in his own chuckle. He never knew this about M/n, but he and Dean never really asked him personal questions.

"Who is it that you call 'mom' and 'dad' then?"

The tone he took was a little saddened. "Would it be a total surprise to tell you that I was raised by a shifter couple? I guess they saw that I was left so they took me in. They didn't need to explain what they were since I already knew about the night life, but...they treated me a lot better than any person had in a long while."

While M/n explained this, Sam was aghast at the new info. His friend raised by shifters? Then why does he hunt?!

"What happened to them? Wait, you don't have to explain-"

It was decided that Sam had heard a little too much before he realized that he just invaded privacy. Just a tad. So he went back to the living room with Jody to discuss a plan after getting some more information from Bevell.

A plan to break into the compound of the British Men of Letters.


End file.
